What drives this mad behavior More than simple addiction A lack of self control Some innate desire to feel commanded Branded Reprimanded Chastened Tell me I’ve disappointed you I’ve failed myself I revel in it Comfort in playing the temporary replacement Falling hard from the wagon for Moments of debasement Self effacement and Whatever-you-needs Passed down from pleasing that old man The father, the son and the chosen one Knowing there’s no reciprocation But you need me For 30 minutes or so You tell me Is that enough To call it love? Telling you beautiful stories about her And how much she wants you Apparently it’s something she will No longer do All the stunning women too Her and her and her I paint portraits of dripping bodies aflame But this is just a game Disappearing immediately Erasing the sin Whitewashing those white stains Is that really all I am? A temporary entertainment A plausible deniability Erasing my identity My needs and wants While desiring my sexuality For the unleashing of your Wild river Pain giver Just hurt me again and again I’m your masochistic whore Maybe it’s not you after all But this twisted sacrament With my complete and total consent That I actually love and adore
