Inheritance

The older I get
The more I look like him
The heavier I get
The more I look like him
So I run and run and run
The glint in my eye
Is a piece of him
And they told me once
We even shared our sexuality

The jowls especially
Remind me of him
Why couldn’t he just be 
A jolly old memory 
And not a monster in the mirror

Still
I’m much shorter than him
Infinitely more honest than him
More ambitious than him
A bigger heart than he could’ve imagined 
Enough to have forgiven him
Years ago
For all the abuse and trauma he endured
That caused the horrendous crime in him
Of hurting the young
Of the scarring of a granddaughter 
That only ever adored him
And never understood 
Why he lied to everyone about what he did
And made them hate me
And tell me I was making it up
Because I was “smart for being so young”

But
I am infinitely more honest than him
Even when that honesty scalds
I am grateful at the very least
That it is not the mendacity
That I inherited from him