In a dream like fugue I descended those stairs Into hashish smoke Your tears Your pain Head, heart and body To hold and be held by you The purest joy The elated heartbeat of the wounded In that very same place Years before Where you made me breathless with a kiss And asked me what I thought of Jesus now Where we shared the work of Tallis Encapsulating my rising despair On the eve of your departure east Me, married again Me, lying in your bed again Me, having no shame this time I know what I am You asked me “How can we say goodbye again?” I left you to your pints and old men Down the Weatherspoons With Lizzie’s mourners on the tele The boys trading paperback history Round the radical politics table With a soft kiss on the lips A whispered “I love you” And your gentle, sighing reply “I know” The ache in my heart followed me All the way back across the ocean Just as it did all those years past When my head knew it was time Despite the heart’s violent protestations The part that never wanted to leave Stays there forever Lying down, next to you Listening to your tales and sorrows Mixed with drink soaked breath and incense Keeping you company in that lonely flat Such is the strength of a love That I refused to deny A love that crosses oceans Travels continents Withstands the decay of time Greying temples Creased brows Saggy jowls A love that remains despite the immensity Of what could never be A love that never dies