Useless Items

We’re relieved

Yes we’re glad that we failed
But we’re relieved that they escaped
From the worst of day to day hell
Of living with the all consuming darkness

Because we’ve been there
And stared it in the face
And god is it horrific
And their pain is diminished
Forever

Kate’s red scarf
Anthony’s belt
Whatever they were
Small, useless items on hand
Turned reaper’s scythes

Mine was useless
A shower pole too weak
A belt not long enough to make a loop

And god I do wonder
If they too had broken out in laughter
at the irony of trying and failing to kill oneself
Would they have been saved for those non hellish moments
Moments of such beauty that tears form at the corner of the eyes?

And all the ‘could be’ moments they’ve lost
forever
And all the tastes they’ll never
savor
And all the lives they’ll never
inspire

Never again
Never again